“Happiness is our birthright. The purpose of life is to be happy.”
It was astounding to me and at the same time it felt somewhat futile – this concept of happiness being our primary goal in life. An enticing concept, but it sounded almost selfish, egoistic, uncaring to mankind as a whole. I thought that I should be persevering to make my family proud and change the world. I thought that I should be achieving a top career that is giving back to the community. I imagined my life purpose to be something grand, life-changing and involving some form of sacrifice.
Of course, if everyone focused on themselves being happy, then how would the world progress? The proportion of helpfulness and giving in society would severely diminish. Our life purpose has to be something great that we do to make a difference to something apart from us. After all, Love is about giving and sharing.
‘No, Dalai Lama, the purpose of life is to make other people happy,’ I concluded to myself, feeling relieved and proud at the same time! Really?
‘Silly little me…’
Little did I know that I was relieved because I did not have to take personal responsibility of my pain and happiness in life. I could continue to keep the gates of my heart closed. Here was the perfect design to avoid all feelings of rejection and unworthiness. I would never have to fear personal failure when I live a life of good service to other people.
I was foolishly proud with my undercover disguise of helping society so I do not have to listen to myself and take personal ownership of my life.
‘I do not need to Love myself. Loving others is more important.’
What I was really saying was, ‘I fear that I will not receive Love and perhaps may not even deserve Love; maybe if I can focus on Loving others will I then feel that void fill up.’
Perhaps my soul had enough of my ego who continued to beguile me toward the grand mission of helping other people and contributing to a better community; my happiness had to be renounced with this noble sacrifice. And, so my soul intervened, I believe, through speaking to me through my inner-voice. I had to listen, as painful as it was.
‘In the name of sacrifice, you may be framing someone for theft – theft of your happiness. But, you are the thief here.’
My soul’s words set my mind in mental convulsion. But, at least they sounded more honest. Unlike my own words earlier, they sounded more like me. Yes, ironically, sacrifice has never really appealed to me, to my instincts. Why then was I convincing myself to give up my happiness for other people’s happiness? I have seen far too many people who sacrifice in the name of giving and Love and then complain bitterly about it, sometimes directly to the person they committed the deed to! I personally would never want someone to give me something at their expense. I would hate to accept that gift of sacrifice. The last thing I want to do is take another person’s happiness. I am not a thief!
Oh dear, I could see it then, my innocent hypocrisy. I was readily living a life of serving society and helping people at the expense of my own happiness. Did they know this? And, if they did, did that mean that I was in fact spreading my lack of happiness to them? How would they feel, knowing that I had come to do good but with very little goodness inside me? Anxiety pulled in. I could feel it in my stomach. I was guilty.
‘At least for the Love of people who share precious moments with you in everyday life, know, that your happiness is a primary part of your life, of you. For, your life is who they will meet.’
I realized this almost instantly: When you keep yourself happy, that is what you will share with the world in its process.
If I were not happy, what do I have to give? If I had not Love in my heart, what would I be sharing then? I sobbed through this transition of realization; I was taking control of my life once again. It was a new beginning, and this time I was in the picture, I was in the moment. I was honest. And, I started to feel a little happy!
In the past, I really wanted to be happy. I still really want to be happy. This is my big dream! And, I have found that most of the time the biggest and perhaps, the only, obstacle holding me back from it was me.
If I may start by declaring this dream to myself and to the universe, then I may be open to all that I may receive. That activity itself is pure happiness.
When I don’t have the courage to be myself and call out to Love and joy in the first place, I am choosing not to show up and will miss the whole point of life. That activity is pure unhappiness.
I think, it is seemingly easier (and less fearful) to remain at the backstage of your life and let other people take center stage. I also think we were not born to live this way.
How then will the people in life experience You?
How then will You experience them?
How then will we experience togetherness?
We will miss out on Love. And, we deserve this Love. It is our birthright, indeed.
“Thank you dearly for all the Love in my life. I take this moment, hung here in forever, to appreciate the blessings within, this breath, this heartbeat, this honest soul. Thank you deeply that I may witness life authentically. Thank you for Love and compassion. I am blessed to be able to Love, spontaneously and naturally. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.”