- Appreciate what is here (live in the moment)
What is already there does not need anything to exist, it is just there. You may wonder of its value, reasoning as to why they are there, how they got there, how they may be for keeps or how they may be improved, etcetera. These wonderings are philosophy – thoughts, questions and answers, discussions, debates, dissecting truth from truth. They will not take you very far; correction, they will take you further and further away from your experience of now.
What this moment needs from us is not our knowledge, but our awareness.
And, there is no effort per say to be aware; knowledge on the other hand, often makes our head confused and heavy. And we may not mind, because the ego is dancing. But, the price we pay for this is our peace. If we keep scrutinizing and comparing what we have here with us now with the past and the future, then we may never be completely present in our blessed life.
“Desire is the root of evil.” – Buddha
If we look elsewhere, toward the future, for instance – we are focusing on what we may attain and we end up experiencing that desire of it, not it. And, so we are trapped in inadequacy, emptiness and a sense of lacking.
When we rummage through the past, it is not difficult to take notice of things we have absolutely no control over. There is nothing to change, nothing to do – the moment is done. And so we may remain latched in powerlessness.
Even reminiscing in fond memories of the past, should not take us away from the present, otherwise we will miss at making more memories for the future.
Here, now is the moment between all of time where eternity bursts forward!
How can we miss that?
- Practice gratitude
We have a relationship with all the good things in our life. How we experience this relationship determines the presence of these good things in our life and their quality in our life. If we believe that things do not just happen to us, instead that we mould our reality, then we are taking personal ownership. Then, we may change and monitor our relationship with the good in our life.
The single thing we have supreme control over is our thoughts and our reactions.
People and circumstances may influence this, but we, individually control this. This may seem hard to absorb at times, especially in times of tragedy. However, this is the very real and practical reason why we have be very aware of our feelings – so we never cave to helplessness. And if we do fall, we may pick ourselves up. No one else or no circumstance may pick us up – they may only help and influence us – we have to do it ourselves, because only we may control our thoughts and our reactions. There is a bit of good news here and a bit of not so good news here. Let’s stay focused on the good news.
When we carry our thoughts and our reactions with gratitude for something, we are celebrating its presence in our life. Admiration for something may not be enough to experience it. Gratitude is the next crucial step in order to own the experience of having it in your life.
Gratitude owns the good things!
This is it! If we may guide and lead our thoughts and our reactions to be ultimately grateful for the good things in our life, we will experience the joy of it to the fullest – the more goodness we appreciate, the more good we experience.
TRY THIS! – Say to yourself with your eyes closed (or imagine your eyes are closed), ‘I want Love’ five times. How does it feel?
Pause, and say ‘I have Love’ five times. How does it feel?
You will feel the difference in the kind of joy you experience – one of wanting and one of having. For me, I experience an inner-smile within me, when I repeat, ‘I have Love’, there is less anxiety, more peace. There is more realness, even more power. Admiration is about desire. Gratitude is about acceptance.
The essence of gratitude is not only in appreciating something as good, but something good in our life.
When we fill our thoughts and reactions with gratitude toward something, we will not be taking it for granted. However, when we stop, we will be. If we take a relationship for example, it may be that we see her/him every day, perhaps at work or home. Or it may also be that we fail to keep in touch by meeting regularly. We may run the risk of taking her/him for granted – our good thoughts of the person start to reduce. The goodness of her/him continues to be, but at a distance from us. Soon, we experience numbness, then disappointment. The less your good thoughts for her/him, the more the distance and for prolonged periods of time, it may lead to worry, pain and in extreme – we may literally suffer a loss when the relationship breaks down.
Just like good food is meant to be devoured, our beautiful life is meant to be enjoyed. Do say your thanks before your every meal and before your every experience. Amen.
- Be (Love) yourself
Personally, I find this the most important key to happiness. For, without You, there can be no gratitude to practice. Without You, there will be no moment to be enjoyed. Without a Loving You, there may be no Love to share.
If you are unaware of your true self then you will not know what kind of happiness clicks with you. As a result, your choices in life – your experiences and relationships, will become inconsistent and even conflicting with your being. Here, your experiences may match your character, but they cannot match you in essence. While your characteristics may be in common with other people, your essence is one of a kind, only found in you.
No one can be you. Only you exclusively can.
This is empowering, because here you will know yourself as the principal reference point in your life. You are your own role model.
When you live from your authentic self, your experience will be authentic, no matter what it may be – because you will be experiencing them. You may be at the top of the mountain or at the marketplace; it does not matter – because you will be experiencing them. When you are at peace with yourself, peace will be your experience. When you are estranged from yourself, you will be detached from your experience.
Are we living our life as a compassionate person by being kind and patient toward other people whilst we are being resentful to our own self?
“Charity begins at home.” – Proverb
Our home is also our space inside, a place where our true self lives.
There is this lady who serves the community as an activist and helps thousands of children. She also comes home crazed from her work to her children who only want to spend time with her. But, she yells at them and sits them in front of the television all night instead. This happens every day.
To the world, she is a peacemaker. At home, she does not exist.
We can very well be honest and nice with people even when we are lying to our self. However, we may only face reality until we face our self. And, when we see that we have been unkind to our self, neglecting our self – it hurts.
We can always come back to self-awareness after we have been lost, and we will. But, the journey is a painful one. And so it is far better to live from your authentic self consistently.
It is better to surrender to yourself than to another.
We are vulnerable people at heart. And everyone knows what it is like to get hurt. So we may tend to close certain parts of ourselves to others, giving others restricted access to our being. That is natural. Trouble happens when we start treating ourselves the way other people have. This usually happens when we secretly take other people’s versions about us to have more weight than our own awareness about ourselves.
Self-doubt leads to self-betrayal!
Then we bury ourselves deeper and deeper, punishing our self for being vulnerable – for being our self. We literally start to lose ourselves.
There can be no joy in losing ourselves to meet other people’s expectations. This is because it is not possible to meet other people’s expectations at all – there are too many people and too many opinions. And so we will be trapped in trying to please people without possible success. They are dissatisfied with us and we are dissatisfied with our self. But we keep searching for happiness, even in this vicious cycle.
The only road that can take us forward is the road back home – back to that transit where we relinquished parts of ourselves; here, have we to reclaim our self.
This is the return to innocence.
You are the captain of your soul and if you ride with your eyes closed, you will crash! You have to see for yourself. You have to be yourself.
“It’s not that I think my Love for you is not enough. But our Love is like a conversation. By you Loving yourself, you will understand the language with which I speak.” – Vishal Singh